Today I am on my period. For perhaps the last ten years of my life, if you were to speak with me, I would actually refer to it as “my moon” or “my cycle”. But I don’t know who will read me so to make it easy for everyone we started where we did. The beginning was the end, the period ;)
As I wrung out my tampon into my “moon jar”, until it ran nearly clean, I thought, I feel I should write about this. Years and years ago I wrote for a blog called “The Green Girls”, which is now defunct. I wrote over 50 articles. Maybe they archived, I don’t know. I’m sure I would have written something back then about how to be more eco-conscious about this time womyn or wombyns go through.
I have understood only of late that womyn is potentially an eyeroll of a term for those who consider themselves more under the title of womyxn. If you don’t know what I am talking about, you can look it up. I’m not here to educate in this post about that issue necessarily. I am using the term, womyn or wombyn, intentionally to address those of us who were born to bleed. More than that, I am writing this for those that accept it regardless of whatever part of the spectrum of perceived gender fluidity you happen to be on. I do use the term also in a slightly feminist way that we are not a rib of man. We are not a subset of man. We are his or that energy’s opposite and magnetic compliment.
Anyway, look, this post will be more bloggy. I’m not trying to go journo on this one. I simply want to bring up the fact that there are things we, wombyn/ womyn can do to reclaim our power with this process we endure monthly, or for some of us, bi-monthly or more.
I had a spiritual awakening in 2002 followed by an eco-awakening a few years later in 2006. The 2006 eco-awakening, when Gaia-Sophia this Earth encouraged me to join her team, was a different level of awareness than the first and previous awakening. Suddenly everything I had been only slightly exposed to at health food stores (vs. what I had considered more traditional supermarkets) seemed to make sense to me. The “holistic thing” instantaneously was understood along with so many other things. I saw her working as an integral and whole system and how we had, in so many ways, set up overlay structures that were mostly all unsustainable. I mean, the overwhelming message was that everything needed to be redesigned. I was not exposed to the terminology back then of what some communities are now calling “New Earth”. Again, I don’t mean to detract. That term can be loaded and an entire post could be dedicated to its exploration. I wish to continue to talk about blood.
I entitled this piece “blood ritual”. That term, again, might be loaded too. I am aware of the frightening dimensions that might have in people’s minds but honestly, it doesn’t have to “go there”. Ritual is just something you do holding the sacred in mind. This is my definition. Ritual can involve repetition, sure. That is closer to magick. As more of a white witch, I am a believer in what I term “spontaneous ritual”, which is basically improvisational mini-ceremonies of gratitude towards Life or Her or Earth or Spirit or or or or whatever you want to refer to IT as. So in this case, of what I am considering “blood ritual”, it is simply be inspired to find a way to sanctify your flow. Blood red is symbolic of Life.
I’m not here to tell you what you should do. I will only tell you what I do. There’s a difference.
Now, in the past, back in the early days following my eco-awakening, I mostly saw the tampon and pad industry as incredibly wasteful. There’s so much plastic involved, especially with certain kinds of tampons. Even the pads have thin plastics that you peel off so the sticker is exposed to paste it into your panties. I didn’t ecobrick back then so I didn’t know which one was worse between the two. Today I might say, depending on what kind of tampon is used, the pad is better if we’re willing to ecobrick. Of course with minimal packaging a tampon like O.B. (or preferably the organic alternative), in my opinion wins over the pad. I remember when I figured out we sprayed cotton with pesticides and feeling kind of pissed off. Is that why we get TSS (toxic poisoning) if we wear those damn tampons too long? That’s why I definitely choose organic tampons now, if I’m in a position and that is what I need to use. For most of the last 10 years (more maybe more?), I’ve worn a cup.
My first cup was the Diva Cup. That company kind of “came out” during my initial years as a new “green girl”. After I purchased a Diva Cup though I realized they were not the only game in town. They just had kind of awesome marketing. My husband was playing a show in Boulder, Colorado, and I walked into a natural pharmacy like store and saw a brand that was probably more local but had been around since the 70’s. At this point in time there are many brands local, national, and global. I don’t necessarily endorse any one of them. My Diva Cup was replaced by a local brand when I moved to Costa Rica 5 1/2 years ago.
Cups are not always… convenient. Nor are any of the catching methods, like period panties (I have many a pair) or the resuable pads (I have a couple of these two). Out of all of these options now, my preference is the cup. The cup trumps (and yes, in addition to our power, we will have to reclaim that word too because it’s a good one and he doesn’t get to keep it for himself when it really isn’t his last name anyway). Cups are my favorite method because I collect my blood to “give it back”. Where to? The Earth, of course ;)
The giving back did not come to me at first. I grew up Christian, though not overly so, remnants of religious indoctrination can pervade our subconscious mind. I think it took me going to my friend’s “green store” where I asked her about a product and she told me is was a “moon jar”. The moon jar she sold was big. You could make a tea from your pad, if that’s what you used. I didn’t buy that product from her but I remember walking away that day and realizing duh, of course, I give my blood back to the Earth. It was nutritious to the plants, my friend had affirmed. I don’t remember where I found my jar eventually, but I did. A beautiful piece of pottery, in my mind and perfect for filling from my cup. My journey began.
I traveled often back in the day. I did not feel able to perform blood ritual of “return” often when I was away. I didn’t pack my moon jar on trips. If I was in Costa Rica at our home here, I could, of course, make offering to the plants straight from the cup. But that’s the thing, the cup is pretty intimate. This is the inconvenience I referred to above. The cup and all reusables are not necessarily good if you’re out and about or at work all day. I work from home (unless traveling), so it is okay for me. Period panties and reusable pads, to me, are a bleed at night or on weekends sort of thing. The cup actually is the best of them all. I’ve leaked on heavy flows and just wear red or wine-colored panties or my period panty thong. The cups are more in line with tampons but without the string. You have to know you are reaching in and blood will get on your fingers and there is a chance, if the flow is heavy, you could accidentally spill. I’m pretty careful but I’m sure a few drops have embarrassingly escaped on an airport bathroom stall floor at some point on this journey. I wash my hands, of course, before I empty the cup - and definitely after! Of course, if I am in a public restroom I use some paper to first wipe my hands before coming out of the stall.
So where’s the ritual in all of this? I do admit that when I was traveling I don’t think I had much ritual to it. I was committed to creating less waste. At home I would talk to my plants and thank them and the Earth. Ever since we moved to Costa Rica, the journey has deepened. I see my bi-monthly cycle as an opportunity to give back more often. I have sacred spaces I often save drops for but I try to gift myself back to the various plants we have brought into the property we are custodians of. Many times I talk to the plants and I ask them to help in enlightening the world and I promise a return to the “understanding of the land”. When my moon jar is full and overflowing, I don’t have it in the shower with me, or I had to use another “method” (my cup is missing so I am on tampons today), the blood going down I sing a mantra my beloved tantra teacher gave to her students.
Our bleeding time is not a curse. It is, as my beautiful husband says to me, “a great opportunity”. Playful with my flow, it brings beauty to this process of time but also the larger Life process surrounding me. Developing a relationship with Earth Life around us that we are at all times anyway, feels good. I’m not the girl in the corner, a self-shunned outsider. I’ve reclaimed my power. I engage now in a greater conversation. I dance, and sing and gift. I don’t eat it, although I know some who do. Now that you’ve read this, what will you choose?